http://dialogicmediation.com/2009/09/03/more-on-listening-like-a-cow/ Turning conflict into conversation Fri, 04 May 2012 17:50:08 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ http://dialogicmediation.com/2009/09/03/more-on-listening-like-a-cow/#comment-894 Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:14:28 +0000 http://dialogicmediation.com/?p=1117#comment-894 Thank you, Arnold. I love this quote.
Here is a like one from Arthur Egendorf, Healing From The War, where he is talking about restoring one’s own sense of empowerment, strength, following the traumatic experiences of Vietnam.
“So what empowers? Nothing we do or say, if we regard empowerment as work that must be done or a place to get to, as if the person were not already able and whole. What, then, is there to do? Essentially nothing. There is nothing more empowering than simply seeing others as already equipped to handle their lives…. People who cultivate this way of seeing can listen empathically to most pained accounts of suffering without losing the sense that the situation is somehow workable. … Bringing about this shift doesn’t happen by telling someone, “if only you would…” Giving instructions in this way calls up a relationship in which the listener is the expert, ignoring the speaker’s own wisdom. Similarly, reassuring people that they are fine or ok also fails to empower. Open, empathic listening with full acceptance of the speaker’s own unique wisdom and wholeness offer empowerment.”

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