http://dialogicmediation.com/2008/11/18/genuine-apologies/ Turning conflict into conversation Sat, 02 Jan 2010 18:50:36 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 http://dialogicmediation.com/2008/11/18/genuine-apologies/#comment-23 mary zachar Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:25:18 +0000 http://dialogicmediation.wordpress.com/?p=382#comment-23 Accepting responsibility may be lacking even in this earnest attempt to apologize - by framing the content as coming from rural Illinois, so that one "should have known better," Larry belies true responsibility. Whether the offending remark was generated from a rural source in the heartland or an urban sophisticate, it was inappropriate and intuitively could be recognized as such, not because it came from Illinois, but because it was harmful and hurtful. Seems to me that as long as the blame is outside of one's self, the self betrayal can be justified. I like Vicki's sincere apology for our human errors, and how recognizing our own imperfections, we can transform them at the heart level. By placing blame outside of ourself, as in the packaging in which the remark was presented, we are still not accepting full responsibility. Convenient reframing, casting blame as in "I should have known it was offensive," coming as it was from another group against whom I discriminate - well, another good example of how we need to be mindful, reflect rather than react. Thanks for the full look at this interesting situation. Accepting responsibility may be lacking even in this earnest attempt to apologize – by framing the content as coming from rural Illinois, so that one “should have known better,” Larry belies true responsibility. Whether the offending remark was generated from a rural source in the heartland or an urban sophisticate, it was inappropriate and intuitively could be recognized as such, not because it came from Illinois, but because it was harmful and hurtful. Seems to me that as long as the blame is outside of one’s self, the self betrayal can be justified. I like Vicki’s sincere apology for our human errors, and how recognizing our own imperfections, we can transform them at the heart level. By placing blame outside of ourself, as in the packaging in which the remark was presented, we are still not accepting full responsibility. Convenient reframing, casting blame as in “I should have known it was offensive,” coming as it was from another group against whom I discriminate – well, another good example of how we need to be mindful, reflect rather than react. Thanks for the full look at this interesting situation.

]]> http://dialogicmediation.com/2008/11/18/genuine-apologies/#comment-19 Mediation Channel » Highlights from the World Directory of ADR Blogs Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:06:08 +0000 http://dialogicmediation.wordpress.com/?p=382#comment-19 [...] a fresh view on topics relevant to the resolution of disputes, exploring issues ranging from “Genuine Apologies” to a humorous look at “Re-focusing [...] [...] a fresh view on topics relevant to the resolution of disputes, exploring issues ranging from “Genuine Apologies” to a humorous look at “Re-focusing [...]

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